Having spent the past 20 years of my life without my dad or a father figure plain and simply sucks. My dad died when I was 16 years old and to be honest I feel like I have been stuck living as child all these years when honestly, all I want is to become a man.
Lets start with the being a man part.
Learning to Interact with Women
I learned how men and women should interact via modern day movies, HBO and porn. My mother and father separated when I was young so I never got the chance to see them interact as a couple. When they did speak of one another it usually wasn’t in the nicest of tones until eventually everyone matured.
Some basic questions I still have:
~ When is a man supposed to open a door for a woman?
~ How about pulling a chair out when they want to sit down?
~ Who walks in first?
~ When’s it OK to smile?
~ How do you let someone know you’re interested in them?
~ How do you ask someone out on a date?
How to Hunt or Fish
I have no clue if my dad ever hunted or went fishing, guessing the answer is no to both. However I would bet his dad did and I can guarantee his grandfather hunted. Perhaps this basic necessity of man was overlooked due in part to where we lived in Southern California.
How’s the saying go “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime” so it would seem at the very basic most primal level a man should learn to hunt and fish from his dad, unless perhaps they’re practicing vegans, but even then..
As the cost of living continues to outpace salaries fending for ourselves and providing food for ones family will become a basic necessity everyone should know how to do regardless if they will ever need to or not.
How to Change Your Oil
My truck has almost 300,000 miles on it. It needs routine maintenance and oil changes. The cost to give yourself an oil change is around $20 USD, take it to a shop and you can expect to pay double that or more. Then multiple the cost by the amount of times you get your oil changed each year and that cost starts to add up quickly.
I can say that I never once saw my dad touch the engine of his car which is fine as some people are not as mechanically inclined as others. However doing a basic oil change is not that hard, it’s an entry level position at any repair shop.
How to Manage Your Money
My dad was a stock broker, so honestly he may not have been the best one to talk to me about saving money and sound investments or maybe he would have been? I would hope that if my dad was still alive he would have told me flat out to leave a place like Jackson, Wyoming as I can not afford to live there on what I’m currently making.
Its is highly doubtful if my dad was still alive that he would be supporting me the way my peers in Jackson are via there fathers. How do you think all these young men afford brand new trucks, snowmobiles and motorcycles. They got cool dads that must likely taught them to fish and perhaps introduced them to spectacular places like Jackson Hole…
How to Trust in the Universe
It’s been soo long since I talked to my dad I can’t remember if he was a spiritual person however it would be nice to know that I’m not alone, that other men have already gone down this path and felt this very way. And most important that I’m not alone in my thoughts and feelings.
After he died I assumed and hoped someone close to me would step up into a father figure role. My cousins and uncles were starting their own families and surely didn’t need to take on my baggage. I did have a father figure for a few years in my mom’s boyfriend unfortunately he passed away as we started to get close.
So what now?
I tend to search out male role model figures in my life, people that can guide me into the finer things of being a man. At 36 years old I feel it’s crazy to think and act like a boy. Yet that’s where I’m currently at in life a 16 year old stuck in a 36 year old body.